At this point, I believe my ability to multi-task returns. My single most important focus since Joshua left us has been to breathe. Just breathe. Writing? That has been my one constant in life. I thank the Lord that I still enjoy words and can create a story from thin air.
How to begin to write about our loss from suicide, is taking form inside my head. Sometimes I am frightened, though, and find myself asking, "Am I really up to this, even after five years?" I believe I am. Josh left reams of journals, and I'm certain he left those for me to share with the world.
My friend said it best about how my husband and I must feel. "You wake up every day, knowing your world is off center and nothing can be the same without your son, Josh."
I'm sure there are many, many writers walking around wounded. And I say, why not take that experience and help people who walk wounded? Know what? That takes a load of courage.
And I ask, "Am I courageous?"
Until next time . . .